 |
| If he didn't take his destiny in his hands he would have died here. Without a stapler. |
I hate to break this to you, but Americans are fat and lazy. If you’re reading this and you’re not American, then its likely that you are 31% more awesome than us. I was raised to believe that the epitome of work success was a well paying desk job. And at this job I would sit on my butt all day and do little more than shuffle papers and talk fast into a telephone. In this circa 1993 fantasy, there were also fax machines and cyborg secretaries.
Fast forward 18 years and I am equal parts proud and embarrassed that I have grasped hold of the dream. I have a desk job. I come in to my office, take two cups of coffee to the face and stare bleary eyed at a computer screen for eight hours from the comfort of my buttocks. There’s no cyborg secretary, but each week I have rousing discussions about the Terminator universe.
Well last week, I discovered that my dream is killing me. According to Men’s Health, sitting at my desk is the most dangerous thing I’ll do all day. The article is here. Long story short, by sitting at your desk all day you increase your likelihood of a heart attack by 54% - independent of any other factor; whether you work out, eat right, abstain from smoking you are still at risk. And that sucks. I’m sure that you’re getting antsy now because this post is not yet emanating awesome. Be patient, its coming.
So, within the article the good people at Men’s Health suggested that we all abandon sitting desks and acquire standing desks. A really nice one looks like this:
 |
| That is nice... |
This sounded like a good suggestion to me, but my company isn’t gonna lay out for me to get a brand new standing desk. So what do I do? I make one. And mine looks like this:
 |
| ...but that is awesome |
That’s right. It’s a keyboard on an empty paper box, a mouse on a postal package, and a monitor on a storage cube pilfered from the copy room. BOOM. That’s what you call Get ‘er done a/k/a Makeshift Awesomeness.
So what exactly are the implications of my improvised brilliance for you? I’ll let you choose your own adventure today:
If its to work with what you got and to work it well, turn to page “I’m Awesome because I can make a dollar outta 15 cents”
If its no matter how humble the beginning, it only matters that I’ve begun, turn to page “I’m Awesome because I recognize my ability to create my own moments”
If its I don’t see what the big deal is, you just stacked some crap on your desk and put your stuff on it, turn to page “I think being a hypercritical jerk makes me Awesome, but deep down I know I’m not”
What page are you on?
All parts AWESOME, Shay-Roc. I have a job where I sit for 8+ hours a day, then I go home, sit at my desk for hours on end, playing "u blink first" with the cursor of a blank word document, trying to write the next great American screenplay - which I always lose, resign myself to lounging on the couch, watching mindless television until delicious sleep overwhelms my senses and I trudge off to bed wishing that I'd wake up on a pile of million so I can call in "rich" that day.
ReplyDeleteThe standing desk is a good idea, especially for the home office. I find that I think better when I'm literally "on my feet". So maybe, by reworking the home setup, I can get these scripts started, finished and sold, and not have to dream of waking up on a pile of money.
Firstly, I'd like to thank you for your consistent support of this little endeavor of mine.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, write the screenplay so I can do an exclusive interview with you as the Awesomeness Consultant and blow my blog up. Maybe even make it a legitimate website or something.