Rejection, Motivation, and Awesomeness

I should be embarrassed to still have this

What you see is a message from my now defunct Myspace music page, circa 06. [I call it defunct, but it’s still there – I just do absolutely nothing with it like 99% of the former Myspace users.] This message is the response to my solicitation of an “expert opinion” about the music posted on said page. The expert opinion came from 88 Keys, a hip-hop producer whose discography includes work for: Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Macy Gray, Beanie Siegel, and most recently Kanye West and Jay-Z on Watch the Throne. I don’t remember what songs were on the page at that time, but I’m pretty sure that I liked them. No. I’m certain that I liked them, and that I regarded them as unpolished gems of immeasurable worth. So, thinking that I had royal gems, I went to get them appraised…and the appraiser said they were rocks.

I actually remember the day clearly. I logged in to my page and was delighted that I had received a response. I did not expect a successful producer to take the time to respond to my request. So with trepidation and excitement I opened the message: “The writing's ok but the flow, voice & beats leaves much to be desired. Aight... Chill!”

My heart sank. He said that I sucked. But the bitter pain of the rejection was quickly replaced with disgusted anger for his corny valediction: “Aight... Chill!” I am fully aware that anger is a defense mechanism, but still… Who says that?

Anyway, I resolved to make Mr. Keys eat his words one day when he came begging to produce a song for me. Childish? Of course. But, this dismissal of my talent was motivation – and for the next couple of weeks I would open it periodically. The first few times, I felt the gut punch all over again and the feelings of anger, rejection, motivation, and vengeance would wash over me. Soon enough, I forgot about the whole thing.  The motivating desire for vindication faded, and I went back to living life exactly as I had before.  I made more songs afterwards and enjoyed them immensely. And never once did I feel Mr. Keys’ cold gaze of judgment.

At the end of the day “expert opinions” are like any other opinion – pretty much disposable. They have only as much power as you give them. You set the value of your own gems, and defy anyone to appraise them otherwise. You are the only critic that matters and your personal desire for your own awesomeness is the only motivation that matters. Aight... Chill!! (see?)

Excuses are not awesome at all – Run through them

Zombies don't accept excuses

This morning as I was driving into work, it was pouring rain. As I approached my favorite stretch of road that cuts between a forest preserve and passes over the highway, I saw a man running – an older man, likely in his 60s. Let me remind you, its pouring rain. I drive past the man slowly and wonder does he want to get out of the rain? Did he begin running and get caught and is now too far from home? Is he so far that his only choice is to keep running?  I drove for another eighth of a mile before I got worried that this guy might catch pneumonia, and turned around to ask if he needed a ride*. I turned around and parked on the only bit of road that was large enough to be a proper shoulder. He approached, keeping his pace. I rolled down my window and he stopped, pushed a button on his watch, and smiled as I offered to drive him somewhere. He replied, “It started raining on Mile 1, and this is Mile 6. So…I’m going to keep going.” He smiled, thanked me for my kindness, pushed a button on his watch, and started running again.

I have no idea how many miles this man continued to run after we parted ways. But I do know that he was only 1 mile from home when it started raining.  And I met him – in the rain – 5 miles later.  I am certain that even the best of us would have considered turning around once the rain started. And of those, some would have turned around.  And we would have had a very reasonable excuse. But this man, knowing that there was far more road to travel forward than backward, kept going forward. For that, he is awesome.

*while it’s not relevant to the story, when I made the decision to turn around, I saw a big pretty rainbow. And when I turned to head back towards the runner, I saw another rainbow in the opposite direction. Rainbows are perfectly normal natural occurrences, but I’m still the sort of person who ascribes meaning to things like that. 

Awesomeness Takes Time

Don't watch me, watch the clock. BOYYEEE!! You know what time it is!!

We would all like to believe that we were born awesome. And to some degree we are absolutely correct. When we first arrive as crying, slobbering masters and mistresses of manipulation, the world literally revolves around us. Furthermore, the universe is merely an extension of us and only exists as we interact with it.  But as we get older, we develop a sense of self that differentiates us from the universe that was formerly our appendage. And that’s when awesomeness becomes more complex.

A couple years ago, I read a book called Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell.  I had even gone as far as to begin writing a blog post about it for the 1^st failed incarnation of The Awesomeness Consultant. It went like this:

Today’s Inspiration for Awesome: Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
[Imaginary Scene: A young Awesomeness Consultant stands before his 4^th grade classmates, clutching papers tightly and shuffling from foot to foot] 

Good morning, my name is the Awesomeness Consultant and this is my book report on Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell.  Mr. Gladwell has written three other famous books that I haven’t read yet named What the Dog Saw, Blink and the Tipping Point.  I think that Outliers was a good book that presented some interesting information that hold interesting implications for awesomeness…

[End Scene] 

Pardon me for being silly, but yeah this is your basic book report.  Mr. Gladwell makes some interesting arguments and presents some interesting facts that I think would help any of us look at this thing called success differently.  I don’t where success fits into everyone’s “awesomeness paradigm” but as far as my own is concerned – it deserves some attention. Allow [me] to go through the book and highlight a few sections and the implications for awesomeness… 

Chapter Two: The 10,000 Hour Rule
Implication for Awesomeness: Awesomeness takes a lot of time invested

And this is exactly where that blog post ended. I never finished it. So now we’ve come full circle.

Since reading the book, I’ve actually heard the 10,000 hour rule mentioned a number of times. Most recently, I was reading a Men’s Health article about Georges St. Pierre, and in addition to quoting Bruce Lee and Michaelangelo, he mentions the 10,000 hour rule. So what does the rule say? To master anything, it will take a person 10,000 hours. That’s a lot of hours. Let me put it into perspective for you:

Pick anything that you want to master. For me, it would be…ummm…I don’t know….maybe White Lotus Kung Fu (for the sake of discussion). Now let’s break 10,000 hours down:

• If I practiced 2 hours per day, 5 days a week it would take 20 years to reach 10,000 hours.
• If I practiced 4 hours per day, 5 days a week it would take 10 years to reach 10,000 hours.
• If I practiced 3 hours per day, 7 days a week it would take 9 years to reach 10,000 hours.
• If I practiced 4 hours per day, 7 days a week it would take 7 years to reach 10,000 hours.

From that perspective, awesomeness (as defined as mastery of a craft or skill) takes an incredibly long time. As well, to commit to 10,000 hours of practice requires motivation, dedication, and humility. That is one heckuva formula.

Now, you may not have invested 10,000 into any particular craft or skill, and you may not want to. That does not limit your ability to be awesome one bit. By the time you reach 30 years old, you will have been yourself for 262,800 hours. Just being who you are has given you mastery 26 times over.  So actually, awesomeness is still as simple as it was when we were babies. It just takes time for us to realize it.

The only real shortcut

#badshortcut

Every day my inbox is full of spam.  Sometimes there is a sexy single in my area looking to chat. Other times, there is a distant African cousin offering to give me a cut of the $10M that I help him to launder.  And while these may be tempting, they don’t ever entice me to open the message. But there is a nefarious type of email that I get that I am always weak for. The “shortcut” email.

I was just linked to a landing page of a website where some guy was trying to convince me that he had the “shortcut” to getting six-pack abs in 12 weeks. This is not the only site of its kind that I have come across. People are always hawking a shortcut – especially for those things that require a significant amount of effort and commitment; things such as fitness and wealth. And while I know, with a high degree of certainty, that these shortcuts are usually “scammy,” I investigate then nonetheless. Why?  Because I possess that very human trait of “wanting something for nothing.” - or at least wanting something for a fraction of its actual cost.  And it makes perfect sense: If I have limited resources, I should want to spend those resources as efficiently as possible.

I understand that with hard work, dedication, and motivation I could actually accomplish whatever is being sold via shortcut. Of course you can have six pack abs (maybe not always in 12 weeks) with the proper nutrition and exercise. Of course you can build a successful blog with resonant content and regular interaction. Of course you can be debt-free if you spend less than you earn. 

Many years ago, when I was creeping and crawling beneath the bowels of the earth, I was informed that shortcuts would no longer be an option for me.  It was around this time that I learned that taking a shortcut only ensured one thing; that eventually I’d have to do it over again the right way.  So the only real shortcut is to not take any shortcuts.

In the immortal words of the SOS Band, “Baby you can do it, take your time, do it right.”  Let the robust sounds of their composition encourage you.

Pic lifted from extremefunnyhumor.com

Quitting feels good

She quit being a HOPA

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I like quitting. It’s easy.  All I have to do is to stop doing whatever it is that is causing me discomfort.  If I’m exercising, it feels good to quit before the reps that really burn.  If I’m watching my diet, it feels good to quit when the canoli at the bakery counter looks extra delicious. I might call it a break or be even more honest and call it a “cheat,” but what it really is – quitting – feels good.

I have to honest with you. I’ve quit more times than I care to remember, much less admit.  And at the time, the excuses always make perfect sense.  You can’t finish that book, you have other things to do. You can’t stick to that running program, you don’t have enough time.  And every time that I didn’t pick up the book, I felt good watching TV. Every time I didn’t run, I felt good sleeping in. 

But I’ve come to realize, that while quitting feels good – being awesome feels great.  And being awesome means that I get it done, get it in, and get it on even when I don’t feel like it (see earlier post).  One of the best feelings in the world to me is when I finish the day’s exercise regimen that I had spend 15 minutes trying to talk myself out of doing (it might also have to do with the fact that working out releases endorphins, but there’s no need to split hairs right now). Regardless of the activity, sticking to it and finishing feels great.

So my advice for today is stick to it…there is no doubt something awesome that you gave up on. The finish line may have seemed too far away. The light at the end of the tunnel may have seemed too dim. And quitting just seemed to feel too good. And since I know that we don’t like to quit doing something that feels good, I’ll allow you to quit one more thing: Quitting.

Pic lifted from The Chive.

The Awesomeness of Self-Reference

Frame of reference par excellence

Personal Assessment

I’ve spent….excuse me, wasted an unreasonable amount of my time worrying about how others thought of me. To that end, I’ve wasted an unreasonable amount of time not being me.  And as awesome as I may have been perceived to be by any number of people, if I was not genuinely me then I was not really that awesome.  I may have successfully portrayed a character and won your approval. I may have played the role and made you smile. But the second that I removed the mask and the costume and discarded the script – who could I say that I was?

Conclusion

Awesomeness follows self-actualization. Self-actualization involves being you on your own terms and doing it to the fullest.

Consultation

When your self-image is based solely on the feedback that you receive from others – in the form of acceptance, praise, and appreciation, or even envy, disdain, and malice – then you become secondary in your own life. You are merely a reflection of someone else’s ideas and intentions. You are a character in someone else’s play. There is nothing awesome about that.

Trivia

I like brevity.

Thank you, Don Cornelius

Evidence of #72 AND #6

Note: Before this begins, you don’t need to ask if there is a Soul Train DVD box set in my household: There is.  And I have been meaning to have a Soul Train themed party where said DVDs are played exclusively providing both musical and visual entertainment for my guests. It’ll likely be a bar-b-q. BTW, I have declared today as "Soul Train Appreciation Day." Get down how you live.

There are at least 100 things that I can thank Don Cornelius for, randomly selected items include:

#72. Keeping an immaculately shaped Afro

#33. Bringing this commercial to the world; where the ghost of Frederick Douglass has to incarnate to tell a dude to get his Afro right

#6. Being a paragon of sartorial distinction

#2. Creating Soul Train

Anyone would at this point wonder, “Why is creating Soul Train #2? That show had wide reaching cultural impact as an example of the influence of black music, fashion, and dance. As well, Cornelius’ entrepreneurship is inspirational.” And I would of course agree with your point.  But what Cornelius accomplished was merely the evidence and result of an attitude and philosophy that I remember his sharing with us. “Love, Peace, and Soul?” Not that one. It was…

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.”

I’m not even sure that Don Cornelius coined the phrase. As a matter of fact, a Google search attributes it to 3 different people – none of whom are Cornelius.  But my mind clearly recalls seeing Don Cornelius in a green velvet 3 piece suit holding a two-foot long microphone and saying it directly to me.

So what was "The Don" telling me? He was telling me to set lofty goals, even seemingly impossible ones. And in the attempt to meet these goals, I will still achieve something amazingly worthwhile.  So even if I don’t meet my goal of being featured in Men’s Health or Men’s Fitness, I’ll still get into great shape.  Even if I don’t learn Mandarin in two weeks, I’ll still be able to introduce myself and ask directions from a Chinese delegation from Fujian province.  And even if the Awesomeness Consultant doesn’t become a huge brand that leads to a series of books and a broadcast show, I still would have shared my adulation of Don Cornelius, Game of Thrones, Ron Swanson, honey badgers, Daniel Larusso, and all things awesome. And hopefully that will mean something to somebody.  

Until next time…Love, Peace, and Soul.

That's not me

You guessed correctly...that's not me

Once again, the AWESOMENESS that is Game of Thrones inspires a post. And while I should’ve written about the wolves by now, alas I still haven’t. This time, the goods come from Arya Stark, the young tomboyish daughter of Lord Stark. As the good book says, “Out of the mouth of babes…”

This week we only see her for a scene as she is completely engaged in her practice to become a master swordsman – talking of balancing on one toe for hours and catching cats. When warned by her father that she may suffer a hard tumble down the stairs, her (paraphrased) retort is that there is always a lesson in pain. And as good as that nugget is – it’s not even the most awesome thing that she said.

Young Arya questions why she can’t be a knight. Her father attempts to soothe her by describing a future where she is the wife of a noble lord who bears sons who will be knights, lords, and advisors to the king. As lofty a dream as this would be for any little girl, our young heroine rejects it saying “No, that’s not me.” Here we find her awesomeness most awesomely displayed.

It is always difficult to express ourselves genuinely and to actualize the being within – and even more when that expression is the complete opposite of every institutionally conventional image. To say “This is me” is awesome – it is the utterance of a free soul, unfettered and empowered. It is the voice of the risen phoenix, assuming its noble perch in all its splendor.  But to say “No, that’s not me” – that’s another animal. That is the utterance of a fighter, challenging the impositions, assumptions, and limitations being forced upon it.  This is a cat that will be nothing less than a lion. This is the queen without a crown that claims her sovereign right to will demanding her power be relinquished.  This is courage and resolve – and it will become an unyielding strength.

I know that many of us are sitting under the burden of an image that has been projected upon us – an image that we have not yet had the courage to reject.  So, start small…say to yourself - “That’s not me” as you watch a YouTube video of a honey badger. Then work your way up until when you are confronted with the binding limitations of an institutional role you can reject it with the courage and conviction of a little girl.

P.S. For all of the fans of Game of Thrones, I found a cool illustrated guide to the houses. Check it out:

Incomparably Awesome

Sure you're bigger than me...but you're not better

I like to read blogs other than my own.  I regularly follow quite a few, and they have had tremendous impact on my development as a blogger thus far. Amongst my favorites is Very Smart Brothas. Its primarily a relationship blog – and I love its humor, creativity, snarkiness, and intelligence. With that being said, the great respect for the writers of this blog and the blog itself was almost the undoing of The Awesomeness Consultant. Why? Because I made the critical mistake of comparing my blog to theirs.

You see, a post on Very Smart Brothas is (toward the high end) gonna get in the neighborhood of 1000 comments. A post on The Awesomeness Consultant is (toward the high end) gonna get in the neighborhood of 4. And if I just throw the math out there and say that they get 250 times as many comments as me, it sounds pretty bad. Not “pretty” bad, but “I’m not gonna blog anymore because I obviously suck” bad. Needless to say, I’ve obsessed over getting more readers, more followers, and of course, more comments.  So I read and re-read posts at VSB hoping to discover the philosopher’s stone. What was the secret formula that eluded me? How could I too perfectly blend humor, wisdom, sarcasm, and pop-culture reference?  What is the key to transmutation? Reveal thy wonders VSB!

Then the realization occurred that made me understand that I was going about the whole thing the wrong way: I’m The Awesomeness Consultant not Very Smart Brothas.  There are a million reasons why they are where they are, the least of which is not that fact that they’ve been doing this for three years and have over 700 posts. In contrast, I’ve been doing this for 1.5 months and have…hold on let me check…16 posts.  I should slap myself shouldn’t I?

So I came to the conclusion that comparing yourself to someone else will invariably lead to two places:

Misplaced contentment with self – At this destination, you have compared yourself to someone else and have found yourself to be “superior.” Understand that this feeling of superiority is a completely manufactured product of your ego – and it is false. You are not superior.

Misplaced discontentment with self – At this destination, you have compared yourself to someone else and have found yourself to be “inferior.” Understand that this feeling of inferiority is a completely manufactured product of your ego – and it is false. You are not inferior.

You’re probably thinking…Wait AC, those sound like the same place. And my response is…Yup, just with different scenery.

The only person that you can reliably measure yourself against with any validity is YOU. Everything that makes you who you are – your ambitions, your failures, your philosophies, your fears, your strengths – makes any external measure/standard completely unfit and useless. Why? Because you are incomparably awesome.

Death by Desk

If he didn't take his destiny in his hands he would have died here. Without a stapler.

I hate to break this to you, but Americans are fat and lazy. If you’re reading this and you’re not American, then its likely that you are 31% more awesome than us. I was raised to believe that the epitome of work success was a well paying desk job. And at this job I would sit on my butt all day and do little more than shuffle papers and talk fast into a telephone.  In this circa 1993 fantasy, there were also fax machines and cyborg secretaries.

Fast forward 18 years and I am equal parts proud and embarrassed that I have grasped hold of the dream. I have a desk job.  I come in to my office, take two cups of coffee to the face and stare bleary eyed at a computer screen for eight hours from the comfort of my buttocks. There’s no cyborg secretary, but each week I have rousing discussions about the Terminator universe.

Well last week, I discovered that my dream is killing me. According to Men’s Health, sitting at my desk is the most dangerous thing I’ll do all day. The article is here.  Long story short, by sitting at your desk all day you increase your likelihood of a heart attack by 54% - independent of any other factor; whether you work out, eat right, abstain from smoking you are still at risk. And that sucks.  I’m sure that you’re getting antsy now because this post is not yet emanating awesome. Be patient, its coming.

So, within the article the good people at Men’s Health suggested that we all abandon sitting desks and acquire standing desks.  A really nice one looks like this:

That is nice...

This sounded like a good suggestion to me, but my company isn’t gonna lay out for me to get a brand new standing desk.  So what do I do? I make one. And mine looks like this:

...but that is awesome

That’s right. It’s a keyboard on an empty paper box, a mouse on a postal package, and a monitor on a storage cube pilfered from the copy room. BOOM. That’s what you call Get ‘er done a/k/a Makeshift Awesomeness.

So what exactly are the implications of my improvised brilliance for you?  I’ll let you choose your own adventure today:

If its to work with what you got and to work it well, turn to page “I’m Awesome because I can make a dollar outta 15 cents”

If its no matter how humble the beginning, it only matters that I’ve begun, turn to page “I’m Awesome because I recognize my ability to create my own moments”

If its I don’t see what the big deal is, you just stacked some crap on your desk and put your stuff on it, turn to page “I think being a hypercritical jerk makes me Awesome, but deep down I know I’m not”

What page are you on?

The Other Side

"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go."

--T.S. Eliot

Everything looks like art in the future - even hallways

People probably think many different things when they think of Ethan Hawke.  Those thoughts may range from “Who is Ethan Hawke?” to “Ethan who?” For your benefit, I will summarize his life in 9 words: He cheated on Uma Thurman and starred in Gattaca. For the purposes of awesomeness consultancy we will focus on the latter.

If you’ve never seen Gattaca, don’t worry – no one else did either.  But, if you are so inclined, you can read a pretty good synopsis of the film here. For the purposes of awesomeness consultancy, this is the synopsis:

In a future where most people are genetically engineered, Ethan Hawke is not. He dreams of becoming an astronaut, but due to the genetic prejudices of his time, he is a second class citizen with no chance.  He “rents” the identity of a person with the necessary genetic pedigree. He becomes an astronaut.

Of course the movie was more complex than that including: love interests, murders, limb lengthening, suicide by cremation, etc…But the key scene of the film involved Ethan Hawke and his genetically engineered brother. His brother had been his superior their entire young lives until Ethan beat him in a single swimming competition. With that success, Ethan left home knowing that he could achieve his dream.  Near the end of the movie, Ethan and his brother meet again. Having the ghost of that single defeat still haunting him, and embittered by the success that his inferior sibling has achieved, he challenges Ethan to another race.  Once again, Ethan is victorious. This is the ensuing conversation:

Jealous Hearted Genetically Engineered Brother: (flabbergastedly) "Vincent! How are you doing this, Vincent? How have you done any of this? We have to go back!"

Ethan Hawke: (assuredly) "It's too late for that, we're closer to the other side."

Genetically Engineered Brother with a Crushed Spirit: (fearfully) "What other side? Do you want to drown us both?"

Ethan Hawke: (triumphantly) "You want to know how I did it? This is how I did it, Anton. I never saved anything for the swim back."

I never saved anything for the swim back. That single line is why I love the movie Gattaca. Because Ethan Hawke’s single mindedness allowed him to transcend every imposed limitation of the world that he was born into. He proved that will trumps pedigree.  He displayed the most noble manifestation of the axiom “…or die trying.” 

Are we willing to go all out; to pour ourselves out completely in pursuit of the dreams that inspire us?  Or are we still saving something for the trip back; afraid to go too far?  If our limits remain comfortably fixed and untested how will we find out what’s on the other side?

Let me give you some advice…

Why do TV and movies always make "little people" magical?

I pay too much for cable. Every month I send AT&T and ungodly sum of money to pay for my internet, cable, and phones (landline and wireless). I am a coppertop in their matrix. Such is life. But every once and again, the value of the service merits the cost. And as I watched the premiere of “Game of Thrones” on HBO, that balance was met.

I’m not going to spend much time telling you about how awesome this show is. Just believe that it is – plus I’m certain that no less than (insert an astronomical number) blogs have already choked servers with its praise. There’s no need for me to walk a well-worn path.  What I want to highlight is the advice that a naughty, yet perceptive, dwarf gave to an illegitimately born son of a House Lord.

“Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.”

Harsh words, right?  You don’t go around calling people bastards. Those were fighting words in every kung fu movie I’ve ever watched - ketchup would be spilled at its utterance. However, in this instance, the word was used to liberate. How so?

We often try to deny what we are because we are ashamed. Because what we are doesn’t  fit perfectly within the picture. Because what we are fails to meet an imposed standard that we didn’t participate in creating. Because what we are has been used to injure us. And it’s all because we haven’t yet owned our perfectly flawed, hideously beautiful selves. 

My advice? 

• Own what you are and wear it like armor.
• Pay a ridiculous bill to your local cable provider and watch “Game of Thrones” with me.

The Power of Preparation – What You Can Learn from House Party

Yo Bilal...Switch again!!!

Before we get started, you MUST watch the following clip. If for no other reason, because its awesome.

If you only take one lesson from the classic film “House Party” then this is it: Be Prepared. You have absolutely no idea when you will be called upon to engage in a dance battle, so you and your partner better have that choreographed routine mastered.  As a matter of fact, you need to have several routines because you don’t know how many rounds it will take to serve your opponents. As Kid demonstrated, you need to be prepared to issue the challenge with full confidence in your ability to back it up. As Play demonstrated, you need to be prepared to pick up the gauntlet in case your heavy-set drunk friend collapses. As Chill demonstrated, you have to be prepared to say “Bust It!” at the perfect time. And as Sidney and Sharane demonstrated, you not only need to be prepared to accept the challenge, but also to use finger snaps to indicate which dance sequences to initiate. I often took for granted the valuable message that the Hudlin Brothers were trying to impart with this film – Preparation is power.

We don’t have to look far to see the value of preparation. A sprinter trains for hours, days, months…to prepare for a race that will be over in less than 30 seconds.  A musician practices week after week to play a single selection.  Pilots have to log hundreds of hours before they can fly unaided even once. But the greatest value of the lesson is most appropriately shown in the clip. You prepare because you never know when it’ll be time to perform – and you need to be ready at all times. 

Be committed to the process of preparation. It will likely involve some uncomfortable moments and you have to stick it out. It may take countless hours. You have to be willing to do it even when you don’t feel like it. No doubt, Play kicked Kid a few times as they tried to get the timing right on that leg sweep/jump over/split. 

You have to have the clarity to recognize when it’s time to put your preparation to use and when it isn’t.  During the repast at your great aunt’s funeral is not the time to launch into your thesis about the failure of the bi-partisan political system. I don’t think this needs further elaboration.

Finally, be confident. Once you have prepared, you’ve done all that you can do. Now actually get down to the doing. The moment that you are preparing for is often going be a moment that you create.

Remember:

1. Commit yourself to the process of preparing
2. Recognize when your preparation is applicable
3. Create your moment

Now go serve a sucka (or suckette) on the dance floor.

The Awesomeness Chronicles: The Morning Run

He's saying "You can do it!"

As part of sharing the Journey to Awesomeness, I think that its fair for me to share excerpts from my life that highlight my view from the road. As such, I will from time to time share some of my direct experiences that have taught me lessons about awesomeness. This is the first of what will be The Awesomeness Chronicles.  We’ll call this one, The Morning Run. The following story took place a little while back, so travel with me… [I wish I had one of those flashback, hypno-spirals right now]

I can say that it started at around 11:30 last night.  It wasn’t full-blown yet, but doubt had begun to wash over my thoughts.  I laid in the bed thinking, I don’t know, as I imagined getting up the next morning. I went on to sleep.

“Daddy, can I have some water?”

I rolled over and grabbed a cup of water from my nightstand.  I went to the bathroom, rinsed it out and refilled it. I plodded to my sons’ bedroom and reached my arm up to the top bunk.  My son gulped down the water.  I looked at the bottom bunk to see that my youngest son was awake as well.  I turned the TV off, cursing myself for thinking that they would fall asleep with Animal Planet playing. No more TV, I must be retarded.  I flopped back into the bed and strained to make out the time. It was 4:45.  The doubt had grown.  I was not getting up at 6:00 to run.

Last week, I started an 8-week running program to get back into shape.  I was beginning to feel like I was 30.  I determined that I needed to discipline myself, that I was missing out on life because I was accustomed to taking the path of least resistance.  I would whip my body into shape and direct my life follow suit.

The first week of the program is designed to go like this:

Monday: Run 1 min. Walk 2 min. repeat 10x

Tuesday: Walk 30 min.

Wednesday: Run 1 min. Walk 2 min. repeat 10x

Thursday: Walk 30 min.

Friday: Run 1 min. Walk 2 min. repeat 10x

Saturday: Run 1 min. Walk 2 min. repeat 10x

Sunday: Rest.

Simple right?

It actually went like this:

Monday: Run 1 min. Walk 2 min. repeat 10x

Tuesday: Oversleep.

Wednesday: Run 1 min. Walk 2 min. repeat 10x

Thursday: Oversleep

Friday: Oversleep; Postpone until evening; Go get a gyro instead.

Saturday: Forget it.

Sunday: Rest.

So this morning I woke up at 6:03. I took a deep breath and got out of the bed at 6:05 and fumbled around for my running clothes.  At around 4:48, I had come up with a great plan to slack off.  I figured that I might as well start over and repeat week 1.  And since I had already earned credit for actually running on Monday and Wednesday, I don’t have to get up at 6:00 and run today.  I can pick up on Wednesday.  That was my plan all the way up until 6:04.  But I realized that I would be defeating the whole purpose and once again resigning myself to the path of least resistance. 

I stepped outside into the cool morning air.  The abundance of trees from the neighboring forest preserve keeps the air fresh, and I appreciated it.  I decided that I would just move on to the week 2 regimen.  Monday’s workout calls for me to Run 2 min. and walk 1 min, repeating 10 times.  What’s the big deal?  After 2-minute run #2, I understood the big deal.  I was paying for slacking off.  I decided to revert to week 1. I would have to start over and do it right – no oversleeping, no missing days, and no gyro blow-offs. 

I admit after two 2-minute runs, having decided to redo week 1, I came up with another slacker plan.  Since I had already run for 4 minutes, I could technically resume at 1 minute run #5.  I’m retarded, this is retarded to even be doing, I’m living a lazy retarded life.  So after beating myself for 1 minute and 34 seconds, I picked back up with 1 minute run #3.  There is no credit. I pushed the top-right button on the Armitron that I had bought for this express purpose.  After one minute the alarm would sound, telling me that I could walk again.  With each successive 1-minute run, the time between my button push and the alarm’s beeeeep-----beep-beep------ beep-beep grew longer. 

It was 6:34:26.  Run # 7 would start in 34 seconds.  My walk breaks seemed to grow shorter as my runs got longer. But the time wasn’t changing. Perspective is a heckuva thing.  At 6:35:30, when it felt like I had been running for 2 minutes, the seagulls began to caw.  To me it sounded like coarse, mocking laughter. There were two of them, like they were sharing a joke about me as I ambled through the parking lot, trying to get to 6:36. In my mind, Shut up…turned into…Go on and laugh, I'll make it.  The seagulls shut up.

At the end of Run #9 the seagulls started to laugh again.  I had watched the clock count down this time, anxiously – almost desperately, waiting for the alarm’s beeeeep-----beep-beep------ beep-beep.  I was joyful but apprehensive as I began to approach Run #10.  I resolved that I would run this last one as hard as I possibly could.  But what if I didn’t have it in me?  What if I gave the seagulls something really funny to laugh at? Forget it, run hard.  I started my stride then pushed the top-right button on the Armitron that I had bought for this express purpose.  I ran hard.  And as I ran, I heard a new bird.  Now, I’m not an ornithologist, nor am I even an Eagle, Wolf, or Squirrel Scout, so I can’t tell you what kind of bird it was.  In my mind, however, it was one of the noble birds; an eagle or a hawk.  This noble bird’s call sounded like a cheer of encouragement. I ran harder.  I ran for what felt like 10 seconds, and felt my stride start to break. The noble bird cheered again and I regained my step.  After what felt like 15 seconds, the alarm’s beeeeep-----beep-beep------ beep-beep completely caught me off guard.

Admit it…You suck sometimes

Just admit it...

It’s a hard pill to swallow. You are looking in the mirror and the person staring back is not the one that you imagined.  You are certain that you are taller; that your skin is clearer; that your teeth are whiter; that your nostrils are the same size… But alas, reality and your mental image can’t seem to agree.

This phenomenon is not limited to your morning visit to the bathroom and the mirror is not limited to the shiny thing hanging over your sink.  A glimpse of yourself as you actually are right now, a full-blown moment of true self-reflection – can happen anytime and anyplace.  When that moment occurs and your true self-reflection reveals that you are exactly what you think you are, and furthermore, what you want to be – then congratulations, you are awesome and I want to hire you to be my consultant. [Please note: I am currently paying for services in sandwiches]

However, when that moment occurs and your true self-reflection reveals that you are NOT exactly what you think you are, nor what you want to be – then I think you have two basic options:

Option 1: Deny it. Keep living life just as you have been. Consider the realization to be a hallucination borne of drinking bad milk and watching a LOST marathon during a thunderstorm.  As reality TV has proven, reality isn’t for everyone. While I think it goes without saying that this is the bad option, it probably is worth discussing but would take an entire post to elaborate on.  So let’s put a pin in that.

Option 2: Accept it. Admit that you suck, even if it’s just a little bit.  Admitting your weaknesses/shortcomings/missteps not only builds character and diminishes ego, it exposes opportunities for continued growth. Honest self-assessments, good or bad, are the stepping stones that the road to awesomeness is paved with. I make it a practice to admit that I suck daily.  It’s not because I don’t like myself, or that I don’t value the person that I am today.  It’s because I know that the person that I imagine myself being is still waiting to be fully revealed. And until I’m honest enough the cast off the various husks of suckitude that hide that version of me, I’ll keep coming away from the mirror with disillusionment. While I think it goes without saying that this is the good option, I’d like to go on record as advocating for Option 2.

 

Just in case you’re worried about it, admitting that you suck in no way diminishes and/or contradicts your awesomeness. Rest assured. However, if you realize and admit that you suck but then do nothing about it – YOU. SUCK.  EVEN. WORSE.

Please enjoy the song that inspired today’s post, courtesy of Avery Sunshine and the good people at YouTube. It is awesome indeed.

You are the Master: Start Glowing

Berry Gordy x (Kung Fu movie set in Harlem + Vanity ) ÷ DeBarge on the soundtrack = Arguably one of the best pieces of cinema ever.

When the Awesomeness Consultant was a little lad, his poppa took him to see “The Last Dragon.”  His young mind saw: karate fights, random breakdancing, glowing people, bullets caught in teeth, and DeBarge. He was overwhelmed by the film’s awesomeness, and wanted to glow badly.

Having grown up a little, my perspective of the movie has grown up as well.  Now I see someone on their journey to awesomeness. Along the way, he is misled by his own misconceptions which make him easily susceptible to confusion.  He believes that belt buckles are magic charms. He believes that supreme masters can be found at fortune cookie factories. He believes that avoiding confrontation is victory. He is constantly seeking something outside of himself, but it can only be found inside. He wants to find the master, but never looks in the mirror.

At the climax of the film, our hero is facing defeat and possibly death at the hands of his nemesis. The villain taunts him, repeatedly asking “Who’s the Master?”  The hero is finally awakened to the fact that he is himself the master.  He starts glowing and kicks fireworks out of the villain’s face…seriously. Being a fully realized master, he goes on to catch a bullet in his teeth and get the girl. The end.

We can all relate to Bruce Leroy, the awakened master.  We spend countless hours, days, and years of our lives seeking something outside of ourselves that has the answer.  It may be our work, our friends, our books; it may be anything.  And we remain painfully unaware of the fact that we already have what we seek – in fact, we ARE what we seek. 

Maybe we have to acquire that knowledge in the fight of our lives against a guy in pajamas with glowing red hands…who knows?  But I do know that your awesomeness is waiting to shine. So, dazzle us with your glow.

3 Things That You Can Do Today That Will Make You More Awesome Tomorrow

Barney Stinson was not this awesome yesterday. He was still Doogie Howser.

1.  Set a simple goal and accomplish it

The thing about accomplishment is that it motivates you to accomplish more. When you can call a task complete, you feel satisfied and oftentimes energized to complete something else. So when I say simple, I mean it. You want to read more? Then your goal is to read 1 page of a book today. Just one. You’ve overcome the inertia to begin and accomplished a goal. It’s so simple that you can only fail if you want to.

My goal for today is: To write this blog entry. No, it’s not cheating to use this as my goal. It makes me more awesome and therefore qualifies.

2.  Learn a new word

I remember seeing on a movie, or maybe a TV show – doesn’t matter really – but there was a character and he had one of those “Word of the Day” calendars. For some reason, his use of this calendar and his attempts to apply his new word made him flawed in some way and we were supposed to regard him with little respect.  So essentially, the guy trying to expand his vocabulary is a clown. Well, at the end of the year that guy’s vocabulary exceeds yours by at least 365 words. He can communicate with greater clarity and nuance. Who’s the clown again? Learning a new word also means pronouncing it correctly and applying it appropriately in conversation. Misusing vocabulary earns negative awesome points.

My word for today is: PAEAN - a piece of writing, a song, etc. that expresses enthusiasm and admiration.  This blog is a paean to awesomeness.

I’ll do you a favor and get you started. The word is niche. Pronounce it as “neesh” instead of “nich” and use it in a sentence tomorrow. When people look confused, tell them that you’re not only awesome, but you’re erudite and articulate as well.

3.  Fully enjoy a moment

This one is a little “touchy feely.”  I know. You can measure whether or not you’ve set a simple goal and accomplished it. You can measure whether or not you’ve learned a new word.  But enjoying a moment is… ambiguous. So I guess the best way to approach this is to just try to do it until it feels right.

Maybe examples are in order:

• You just took a long gulp of some ice cold grape pop. Lick your lips, smack obnoxiously, say “aaahhhhh, refreshing.” Grin like an idiot.
• You just climbed into bed after a long day. Bundle the covers over your body, assume the fetal position, rub your feet together like a cricket. Grin like an idiot.
• You just finished writing another personally satisfying blog entry. Spell check, find an amusingly appropriate picture, preview, post. Grin like an idiot.
• You just finished reading The Awesomeness Consultant’s latest post. Laugh, cry, reflect, self-assess. Grin like an idiot.

 My moment of enjoyment for today: They just keep coming…

Your comfort zone is a trap

She's not gonna be comfortable for a long time...

Your couch is plush. Your feet are kicked up. Your belly is full and if it wasn’t, your refrigerator is. You have successfully carved out a comfort zone. Now, kill yourself.

Yeah, I went a little overboard with that. But once you get into that comfort zone, what’s the motivation to keep moving onward and upward? Comfort zones are deceiving little boxes where the variables are all known, the outcomes are all planned, and security abounds.  In this type of environment, evolution comes to a screeching halt.  Evolution is a result of adaptation. Adaptation occurs in response to changes in the environment. So if your environment never changes, it’s safe to say that you won’t either. You are an awesomely sophisticated machine and efficient to boot. That means once you’ve suitably adapted to an environment, you won’t waste a bit of energy on any further adaptation.  

No more adaptation = No more evolution :: No more evolution = No bigger, stronger, faster, smarter You.  

And that sucks.

I like comfort as much as the next guy, but is it worth sacrificing the next, even better version of me?  Is it worth setting to the side The Awesomeness Consultant v 2.0? And subsequently versions 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55… I gotta say no. 

So, what is there to do? Seek the challenge.  Cooking a healthy meal tonight may be uncomfortable. Running a couple of miles tomorrow may be uncomfortable.  Writing a business plan next week may be uncomfortable.  But you won’t be stuck in the trap. You will be evolving.

Screwing up may be the best thing you’ve ever done

A few minutes ago, Daniel screwed up 

You’ve screwed up. Royally. And as you sift through the pieces of your shattered project, job, reputation, relationship, etc…you don’t feel awesome one bit.  But what you may be failing to realize is that you could be standing in the aftermath of one of the best things that has happened to you.

While we give lip service to the fact that mistakes are opportunities for growth, we hate to make them. We hate dealing with the consequences of our screw-ups. We hate to be reminded that we may suck a little bit more than we otherwise thought (or at least projected). Why? Because behind the defensive mechanisms and the egoist posturing – we’re really fragile.  And often times, to protect that fragility we build walls, dig moats, erect watchtowers, and post/deploy armies.  So the “Nation of You” never really builds its internal resources (i.e. creativity, self-assessment), but commits all of its development to its external resources (i.e. finances, public image).

Sometimes when you screw up and are standing in the wreckage, you can actually see clearly to what extent you are really awesome or not. Sometimes when you fall off, you realize that you weren’t that far from the bottom to begin with – or you weren’t sitting as high as you thought you were.  A screw-up gives you at least a moment for a pretty clear reflection, without the distractions associated with maintaining the walls, the moats, and the army.  When you screw up you are found alone with simple, fragile YOU – the core from which your awesomeness actually emanates.

So ummm...Why the Awesomeness Consultant?

Appreciation for Ron Swanson = 1/3 of my Awesomeness equation

I’m a fan of human potential. I believe that each and every one of us has a seed –  an unknown quantity of quality – that when cultivated will grow into a full blown manifestation of awesomeness. 

Our lives have been influenced and shaped by the presence of awesomeness. Avatars of awesome have given us styles to wear, music to dance, thoughts to ponder, causes to fight and lives to imitate.  It is our duty to Pay it Forward and put some awesome into the world for the future  “us-es.” Once achieved, awesomeness has a permanent impact on our entire sphere of influence. 

Feel free to define awesomeness as you will.  As a matter of fact, it is absolutely necessary for you to define it for yourself. Mine can be found below; graphically depicted at the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs above Self-Actualization. Simply its: “self-awareness devoid of self-consciousness, magnanimity, and appreciation for Ron Swanson”

I fully understand that I have not yet answered the million dollar question yet: Why the Awesomeness Consultant?

That begs at least 2 questions:

1) Why should I involve myself in your awesomeness? …and a better question: 2)What qualifies me to do it?

The answer it question 1 is simple.
Awesome people make the world more awesome by their interactions within it.  If I can help a few more awesome people to realize themselves, then I have had an incredible impact on the world.

The answer to question 2 is equally simple.
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Make no mistake, I am sufficiently awesome. But I am not yet at the sublime level of awesomeness that I seek (akin to achieving “The Glow”), although I am at least a full 1/3 of the way there according to my definition. Also, there's an abused euphemism about the qualified not being chosen and the chosen being not qualified, but then qualified because they're chosen....its confusing. Forget that I mentioned it (unless it helps to make my point).

Awesomeness Demands Theme Music

You need theme music. If you fancy yourself to be an awesome individual, but don’t have any….fancy different. The following awesomeness avatars have theme music, why shouldn’t you?

The force is strong with the Awesomeness Consultant                  

He's a bad mutha...shut your mouth. I'm only talking bout  AC

Who you gonna call? (you already know)                                

Optimally, you would have a valet following you around with a shopping cart full of speakers hooked to an iPod, laptop, Walkman, turntable, or something.  But in real life, that’s not how it goes. Functionally, you have certain songs that play in your mental background at certain times that you connect with on some profound level. This is a good indication that it may be your theme music. Allow me to share with you the Top 5 selections of personal theme music (in no particular order) that comprise my Awesomeness Soundtrack. And my valet pushes the button…